Ep. 276 Quit Taking It Personally

Does it drive you crazy when your client changes their mind or just says “NO”? Joe Pici shares his best techniques for handling disappointment. 

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Get ready for an unfair advantage over your competition. This is The Sales Edge podcast. Where globally recognized sales expert and trainer Joe Pici helps you sharpen your skills for booking more appointments and closing more deals. And now here’s your host Joe Pici.

Joe Pici (JP):

How many times have we had potential clients? Existing clients change their mind, go dark or just flat-out. Not sure.

Up. How did we handle the disappointment? Did we get this derailed? Did it take us off? Our course, where we angry? Did we take it? Personally. Did it set us back? Did it create doubt that we were doing the right thing with our career? Our profession our business. Did we question ourselves? Today? We’re going to discuss these challenges and some steps that we can take. Take to keep on. Wing as we know sales business development is extremely lucrative. But there are things that happen because it’s all so unpredictable. Welcome to the sales edged podcast number 276. I am your host Joe peachy. We want to thank Pici and Pici which is our corporate sponsor. They specialize in helping people recapture lost Revenue, get in front of their target market overcome objections, get through Gatekeepers. Also, sell more virtual e.com. There’s our membership platform. Every Thursday night. I’m out there live. Doing a mega training or coaching downloads e-courses. A tremendous, massive ecourse up there right now, and we want to thank you for your loyalty. We thank you for helping us expand the globe getting in on more podcast. Have people really be able to take the information. We’re putting out and get better.

Or what they do. I’ll take you back to Saturday morning. Okay, I’d gotten up very early. I’m on the stationary bike. I’m doing my lemon, water, drink and and I’m getting my mind, right? And about did my protein shake. And then I decided, you know, I need to grab a quick cup of coffee, and I drove over to Dunkin Donuts about a mile and a half from my house. And as I’m driving over, I start having a conversation on the phone to Joe Miller. Now, you know. No, Joe’s been selling in sales for 37 years. A coma War Horse. Okay. Well here it is too old sales guys, talking shop. I only wish dismiss on a recording, you know, a lot of people that I sharpen my sword with, you know, there’s so many of you are out there that are in the game of building a business that are in sales and we have the shop talks and Joe and I

We’re talking about a very important subject. You know, we were both. Talking about how we’ve seen sales professionals and business owners. Quit, get out of the game because they let other people have control over their mind. Listen to what I just said, people allow other people to take control of your mind, you know, people don’t always do things to disappoint you, they do. What’s best for them. That’s a dawn peachy quote, many years ago. We’re training.

And Dawn is up their training and I’m in the back of the room. And I, you know, when Dawn trine’s, I take notes, when I trained, she takes notes for a lot of reasons, but she said that, and I’m thinking as anybody else hearing this, people don’t do things to irritate us. They do what’s best for them for the most part. People. Don’t sit out to deceive us that they don’t start their day saying. I’m going to change my mind. And I’m going to give my word. I’m going to go against my word.

They just do what they believe is best for them. Now. I will tell you there’s a certain amount of people out there that executes situational ethics. So they moved the mark a lot, they change the game, but that sets up a major issue in his whole topic. The biggest problem. I see with respect to this whole thing of cheap, people changing their mind or going against their Word is that we take things personally, you know when Dawn created the assertive communication piece and it’s a it’s masterful and I invite all of you to take part sometime in our Communications training, if nothing else for that, assertive, communication piece because it’s magical but that towards the end Dawn puts in their Q-tip quick.

Taking it personally, you know, taking things personally. What it is is we put too much emphasis on the thoughts and actions of other people. So, we really let them get in our head by not taking things things. Personally. It gives us much more power over our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. Let me say that again, please. If you’re driving in your car, pull over, if you’re on a stage. Canary bike pull over, but listen by not taking things personally. It gives us more power over our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions.

Look other people just want to fill their own needs. They’re not thinking about you. They’re not thinking about me. It’s all about them. And that’s what we have to keep in mind when it comes to Business Development, when it comes to sales. It’s not about us. It’s about them. And so we have no control over them. You know, that’s why I sell with the process. It’s their decision. I tried very hard to Keep the emotion out of the game. And I think one of the pitfalls in selling and business development is people put too much of their emotion in the part that you have to rely on other people and that’s where we can go wrong because anytime we have to rely on other people and we make it an emotional thing. We’re going to put ourselves on an emotional rollercoaster which is dangerous in business. You know, we must take An account, the other person’s perspective. We call it tactical empathy, you know, in the book, never split the difference. He talks about Chris talks about the importance of understanding, tackle, tactical empathy. Which is seek to understand, rather than being understood and we realize we’re only one half of the equation and they’re the most important aspect of the equation.

Teni, don’t always do what we believe they should do. We can’t control things and I know a lot of you out there, kind of like me, when I first got started. I really believed I could control the sale. I could control every aspect of it only to find out. I can only control one half of the equation. Am I doing all the right things, you know, do I hit the mark every time? We have no control over their ethics, or the value, they put on their word and here’s something else. We have no control over. We have no control over their behavior style and then a lot of our training, we really get into the deep pieces of communication Styles and behavioral Styles because a lot of people based on there.

Behavior Styles how they View. What comes out of their mouth. When you talk about people oriented people that are very emotional. Sometimes they say things only to process them, but not really locking it down. Where is it? Task oriented person. Usually has every intent. Not that either one of them have more ethics or more honesty, but it’s all based on the way they process things. And so, when you look at that, I want you to think about Out some of the examples that have happened to you to me, in the past year, when you really, really, really heard something from another person and you locked it down, only to find out, it was not in concrete at all. It was a moving thing. And so I think it’s really important at this point that we understand the mindset of sales. And I think we have to understand the mindset and

Wing a business because we’re all interrelated. No one is an island when it comes to Business Development, you know, no one can grow a business without clients. No one can grow a business without leads without, you know, business meetings. And so there’s where the things can go sideways on you, you know, I’ll be there and they don’t show up. You can count on this and they don’t do it. I’m coming to the Boot Camp, only. For them to change their mind, and that’s up to them. So, what I’ve done is, I’ve put together some serious action steps. This is the way I roll, you know, because people say to me all the time, Joe, are you cold? No, how come things? Don’t bother you because I believe many years ago. I heard I read a book and I didn’t agree with it at first.

But now I’m being really understanding what perspective, it came from one of the most important part of sales and Business Development. We have to take care of ourselves, our emotions our perspectives. So we can line up another day. So here are some action, steps number one and and let me talk this through, because you can take it wrong, believe in everyone, count on. No one. That doesn’t mean you can’t rely I’m saying this when

Comes to sales. This is about sales. I believe in everyone and what that comes out of their mouth, but I count on no one until the check is cashed, you know, I’m in my office and just early this morning before I, I’m taping this right now, and I’m looking at my hit sheet. I’m looking at the proposals, I have out there and I’m looking at the deals that have closed. But the only deals that have closed are the ones that are already paid for. Now, all of the other proposals have only gone out because they were requested at the end. I said, do you want a formal proposal? Yes, and I can tell you that at this point. It’s just December 5th that we’re taping this. And as of last night, I now have 290 formal proposals out there.

Okay, we’ve closed. 112 deals. Well, what about all the rest? I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt that 85% of what’s left on the board. Have said, we’re moving forward. I’m going to do this. You can count on me. Now. I’m not irritated. Some of them will close with some will not. Now that that does that make them Liars, know. It doesn’t things changed.

He’s come up. I had a great lady the other day. Who wants to come to our training, find out, she needs back surgery. Well, that didn’t make her a liar life caught up. And so if I was counting on that, if I needed that, if I had to have that I could be disappointed. And so I believe in everyone. But I don’t count on them, which means number to put processes in place that are action based in metric, based not based on feelings, but based on deposits contract, executed work, you know, it’s not what they say. It’s what they do. It’s not the proposal. It’s the contract, it’s the deposit. So, For not a process. Which is number three, determine your value and your worth with respect to time and money. If you value your time and money, then you’re going to put a higher premium on who you sit down with how long you take in your meetings, how long it takes to run your process. You’re going to put a dollar value on everything. And so for my preliminary meeting. I have a certain set amount of time. I want to conduct a preliminary meeting because I have a value for my time and number four, fill your calendar.

You can build a business and sales based on weakness or strength and the strength is, when you have totally filled your calendar, which means goes back to. Number one. I’m not counting on anyone deal to come through which this number five, fill your funnel. Do you have a funnel? Do you have a funnel drawn up? Do you have all your leads and and your phone calls and how that converts and and where you are in the

King, if I sat down with you today, could you say I had this many leads, I had this many calls, I had this many meetings, these have gone to proposal these have gone to contract. Could you show me your funnel, your funnel of verts personal feelings. Number 6. Don’t let anyone deal be more important than another and some of you say, well, come on Joe. What about those big deals? Every deal has equal importance until you get the deposit. What does that mean? It’s not a deal that’s closed until it’s closed. I gave everybody the same effort. I give everybody the same importance. It’s easy to say that deal. Six figures. I need to be so in love with that deal and I see this happen all the time, people get so fixated on the big deals.

That they don’t realize that they don’t always come through and then there’s tremendous disappointment, number seven. I heard. It said one time Fido if you lose a deal, if somebody changes their mind Fido fi the oh, forget it and drive on, get to the next one. You see, the fastest way to overcome a loss is to go to win the next one. You know, I had a guy at our last boot camp at Hold me up and raise all kinds of Cain and he changed his mind and and they didn’t want to come and he gave me four hundred million reasons, which is fine and I got off the phone and I filled his seat, you know, not that. I didn’t care. Not that. I didn’t believe in him, but I didn’t count on him. Okay, it’s so then we move down to number eight. Don’t give ultimatums. In other words do not give prospects ultimatums because it may not. Not be a deal to. I can tell you, we line up in our boot camp, I go into corporate training and I always ask people. When is the last time, last time I started working with you, from a sales perspective and it’s three for five years. I have a guy for the last five years, has called me five times a year to tell me he’s coming to the next boot camp and he’s never been there. And it’s a very short conversation. I’m not mad at him.

Number nine, trust people’s actions. Not their words. Not that you’re going to roll your eyes and you’re going to have an attitude when they talk, but don’t fall into this trust thing. When they say something because it’s sad to say, in the 21st century, people don’t always value their words and they don’t know. We just mean what they say. So evaluate and Trust actions number 10 use tactical empathy, which is what I talked about. About before seek to understand and where they’re coming from. If a person has to change their mind rather than get angry emotional and say something wrong. Maybe you should see things through their eyeballs. Now, I’ve told people in the past, you know, I just don’t think I had a guy the other day on the phone who told me a year ago. I want to be at your April speaker bootcamp, no matter what please call me.

Didn’t November boot camp and I call them the other day and he has some changes in his life. And in his Direction I said Chris. I don’t believe this is the right time for you. I think you need to put this on hold. You know, sales is, are we meeting their needs? Are we solving their problem, or we just pushing a product on them. Number 11, work on ourselves, improve our emotional intelligence, read books. Listen to just read and study and attend things that have anything to do with emotional intelligence and emotional control. Well, that’s why I had to be, you know, as an Italian young man. I was extremely

Really volatile reactionary and I had to work on my emotional intelligence. And if you’re going to make it in the world of sales, in the way of business, you need tremendous self-control, emotional intro, emotional control and emotional intelligence. Number 12, never but never, but never lose your temper. Number 13, never close the door on someone something changes. They back out, whatever you keep the light on. You don’t waste a lot of time but you keep the light on because sometimes things change and when it comes around you want, you would like their business two years from now. I promise you that. Now, number 14, be able to recreate a policy. Okay? For someone who didn’t keep their word.

What I mean, many years ago, we worked out an agreement with a marketing company and in this is the last time I ever did a trade out and they had a big marketing magazine and tremendous exposure and we worked out that we would provide One Day sales training. We would get the front cover on a magazine monthly in Search and we would speak at their December end of the year business.

Words conference, we did our half of the equation they didn’t. And so they violated. Trust five years came and and they re contact us and they’re putting on a convention. They wanted Dawn. And I to speak and I said, well, the politeness there was Well, in working with you, we have a different policy. I need a hundred percent up front and they said 100%, Nobody gets 100% And I said, hey, I’m not angry, but we’ve had to recreate a policy whereby with when I’m working with you. I need 100% of front with the contract and I just said it very calmly, you know what? They paid it because I had recreated a policy to work with a mind changer for somebody.

Didn’t comply to their original contract. Number 15, set boundaries, always set, boundaries, read the book boundaries. And and next number 16, understand the hot buttons of the prospect. You know, is Joe and I were talking as I’m grabbing my coffee. And Joe, is more people oriented. I’m more task-oriented. Stay with me here when somebody backs out on Joe, because he’s people-oriented. He takes it personally, and it breaks. Relationship because I ain’t asked oriented. It breaks. A trust. We have to know our hunt buttons. We have to know the hot buttons of our clients, never become what you despise. So this is just some keys, how you stay in the game. But folks take out your phone. But before you take out your phone, I want you to write yourself a note. If you wouldn’t mind after this podcast, go to Global gurus dot-org, we’re within weeks of them, closing the voting. Please go to the sales. Is division and vote for Joe peachy. I would appreciate that. Global gurus dot org and then take out your phone now. And type in sales, edged one word. Send it to five, five, six, seven, eight. It’s going to hit peachy peachy. Then the splash page, go to the nine Essentials of sales. Success, free webinar. I invite you to watch that whole thing, really get some value out of that, complimentary training. Hey folks, if this has been a value to

You can you like it. Can you share it? And can you write a great comment? Have a great day, and we’ll see you at our next podcast.

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