Ep. 222 Build Esteem in Yourself & Others
Self-esteem is often what tips the scales in your favor or, unfortunately, against your success in sales or any endeavor. Joe shares insights about:
Self-esteem is your opinion of yourself.
Everyone lacks confidence occasionally but people with low self-esteem are unhappy or unsatisfied with themselves most of the time.
It takes attention and daily practice to boost a low self-esteem.
Your words can improve the self-esteem of others.
Get ready for an unfair advantage over your competition. This is The Sales Edge podcast. Where globally recognized sales expert and trainer Joe Pici helps you sharpen your skills for booking more appointments and closing more deals. And now here’s your host Joe Pici.
Joe Pici (JP):
This is Joe Pici. You remember when you were growing up, hearing that rhyme sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. That is a bogus belief that is a false statement. You know, I seen bones break and heal I seen people get hurt and heal but I’ve also seen people hurt by words and they’ve never healed. Do you know, there’s 200,000 words in a dictionary? You know, that words are the most powerful asset or liability people can have welcome to the sales edge podcast. Once again your host Joe Pici. This is podcast number 222, we want to thank our hosts Pici and Pici which is a speaking coaching training consulting firm. So focused on recapturing Lost revenues for our clients getting in front of their target market so they can close more business and sell more virtual;y.com, which is our membership platform. And I’m out there live every Thursday night four Thursday nights a month. Live for one hour for pennies on the dollar. I can work with you in a virtual way. Also downloads e-courses videos, and many more before we move forward. I want to take this time on this Memorial Day to thank those who have gone before to. Thank those has laid down their lives, for our country, for our freedom, and their families. I want to thank all of the armed services, our First Responders for the sacrifices that they Every day, every week, every month, every year, and some give it all. So thank you with all humility and pride. We want a Pici and Pici want to thank our veterans just for all that you’ve done. So let’s move on today.
You know, we’re going to talk about the Power of Words, you know, words have the power to do so many things and I don’t know how careful we are but I made A list of so many things that I’m a big list guy, as you know, and hopefully when I give you a list, it makes you Ponder makes you think you know, what does it mean? You know words can either destroy or build you know that there’s no middle ground there, words have the ability to destroy people to destroy things or to build they have the ability of death and life, okay, death and life is in words. It has the ability to terrorize or inspire. When we talk to people do we terrorize them or do we Inspire them for, for greater lift in their life? No. Words, have the ability to hate, or have the ability to love, and there’s no middle ground there, either? What comes out of our mouth can destroy so easily. Hey, they either take words either, take or give. Are we takers? Are we givers? Do the words that come out of our mouths? Give and these are all such important things. They can hinder, okay? Or they can help. They can tear down or lift up. So many things that, you know, I don’t know that we ever really sit down and think about what comes out of our mouth, they can harm or heal. It. Put down or edify. And I think, you know, recently, I’ve used the word edify and it’s astounding to me how very intelligent people. People have a high regard for their Vocabulary, they’re well-read, they’ll say Joe. What does edify mean, what is edification mean, and what it means, it’s the building up. It’s so interesting. You don’t have a couple examples for you. I do believe people will live up to words and expectations.
Many. Many, many years ago, I had been a college coach. I took a high school job And as I was, interviewing the former players. The players, the former coaches to teachers the people in the community and amazing thing kept coming up over and over and over and over. They use words like lose, can’t won’t that’s a assembled, my staff. We change the vocabulary. I said, we’re never going to say can’t We’re going to say can we’re never going to say lose. We’re going to say win we’re never going to say won’t we’re going to say Will. and it was amazing thing. What happened in that little Community to a bunch of kids, that all of a sudden, Started to live up to expectations. At one point that very group of kids got ranked Number four in the state. I don’t know if we were better football coaches, but I do believe that the language that we use, the words that we use was so powerful. In a very personal, very personal way. A few years ago, my wife found herself in a position to homeschool our grandchildren through a list of circumstances, they were behind far behind and our granddaughter didn’t think she could do math and would sob. And and and she had been told you can’t do math and our grandson. Although, very intellectual kids, could not read.
And besides the technical, besides a tutoring in the ongoing teaching that Dawn did on the thing that kept coming up, was we kept saying, you can read, you can do math, you will read, you will do men, you will win, we kept pouring into those kids. The fact that they could, they would And then the amazing thing. Our granddaughter took a standardized test and was at the top of the B+ chart in algebra. And our grandson stood up in front of a room full of people and read four pages that he wrote himself with multiple syllable words, On Pearl Harbor. And all I could think about as I sat and listened to him, and saw her grades was for the years we can continue to pour into these children every day. Every week, every month you can, you will. Words have power. When our kids were growing up, a hundred million years ago, we would not allow the word can’t in our house. It just was not going to be part of the vocabulary. What about you? What about in your self-talk? What about what you say to others? Do you inhibit? Or you lift up our your words. Edifying, or we tearing down now. I’m going to tell you what people crave. And I’ve studied this, I’ve Observed this I’ve experienced this. People crave acceptance, people want to be accepted and the first way that we can show our acceptance is through the word. Another thing is they want to be valued. The end of the day, folks, people want to have a high value, but they want others to Value them.
They want to be believed in or when you believe in someone and they know it and you say these words, I believe in you. But powerful, powerful words, you want to be appreciated, which means through our words like thank you. I appreciate that. Never taking for granted, never missing an opportunity to thank someone to appreciate someone. We needed people want to feel needed. People want empathy. Wow. Look that up in the dictionary, what a powerful word, empathy, that’s what they want. That’s what they crave. That’s what they need. People want to know why? And through our words, taking the time to explain, why do we do this? Why does it work this way? Why did you say that? People need to know that. So, instead of pushing them all, and being angry and being shirred, realize that people need to know why. People need constant encouragement. I don’t care who the person is. You want to be encouraged. I seen the most successful people out there. Swell up. When they are encouraged. If you’ve ever seen a flower, In that moment where you give it water and the pedals just open, that’s what happens when we encourage we lift up and people again want to be edified the building up, they want to know we believe in them they want to know you’re on their side, they want to know, but so many times we take it for granted. You know, I heard a guy say one time, somebody has this guy need to tell your wife. You love her. Oh yeah. I told her I loved their years ago. You know what? Men women. Tell that other person you love them and watch, just watch the pedals open. So let’s move. Let’s choose our words wisely. Let’s think before we speak, I can’t tell you that. I was always that way. I used to be very reactionary. I used to be the first one to respond to just react and now I’ve learned to Think, before I talk, I learned to respond. I want no way every word because the power In the word. You know the tongue is a double-edged sword. What does that mean? It can hurt and it can help.
It can build up. It could destroy. So there’s two sides to the tongue. Which one are you using? Next one? Let’s avoid the negative at all costs and it’s not easy. It’s hard. It’s hard to avoid negative but let’s next be positive. If it’s going to come out of our mouth, we need to make sure it’s focused on the positive. As you know, we do disc behavioral training. And I seen some disc behavioral training people who are just talented people, but they always take it from the negative side, where we determine, we’re going to take it from the positive side. We should lift up, folks. Let’s let’s avoid saying words, like always, you’re always late. Or never, you never take out the garbage. You never get the job done, those are dangerous words. Never and always are two lightning rod words that we need to take out of our vocabulary. Let’s be respectful way in the marketplace today. I’ve observed a lack of respect, a lack of professionalism, but that respect and how can you tell If someone respects? listen to their words, listen to what they say.
Next be gentle. Now, you’re saying Joe. You’re talking about gentleness. I know I’m strong. I know my message is strong, but I really work to deliver it in a manner that each behavior style will receive it. So though, the messaging might be strong the delivery, Needs to be one of professional delivery on the other person’s Behavior. Very important. Let’s be humble a word. You don’t hear much in business, but humility is putting the other person First. Let’s seek to inspire with our words. Let’s seek to start every day. Every conversation with this thought. Is this conversation going to inspire the other Person, for greater things to achieve their goals? Must be enthusiastic. I mean let’s have a little fire in our belly, folks. Let’s let’s be enthusiastic when we communicate with people not deadpan, there’s nothing worse to talk to somebody and saying you know you’re you know, there’s has to be some enthusiasm. I did a whole podcast on enthusiasm and I’ve got more feedback about that. Let’s encourage. Let’s be, let’s be known as encouragers people. That are put their hand out to lift, someone up to Pat them, on the back in, to encourage them to seek to a higher level.
Let’s try never to speak out of anger. Folks, we all get angry. There’s all times when people rub us the wrong way, when something happens when somebody makes a promise. When somebody doesn’t do it, they promise. We need to hold back the anger because my wife, many years ago, we were getting ready to speak at a big convention about 5,000 people. And she was in the bathroom. She comes out with a towel and a tube of toothpaste and, you know, we’ve been together a long time. So sometimes I just don’t ask. And, and we were asked to go up on stage together. And and then I was going to intro Dawn, and I didn’t, I started walking off and I watch the she dropped the towel on the floor. She took tube of toothpaste. She opened it, she squirted it out and she said, words are like toothpaste. You can’t put them back in. Have you ever wished You would have said something, Have you ever wished You could retract the statement. The problem is, you can Problem is, once those words are out, are they hurting or they helping are they lifting up? Are they destroying? Let’s listen, patiently. A big part of our words come from the fact that if we listened patiently will know how to respond. Let’s speak with great tact. Let’s be tactful in our in a way We communicate, let’s always be truthful in our words. Yes. In our actions. And let’s build people up.
You know, today, my challenge for you and this is this is a hard topic. Because in an environment where there are no Governor’s on what people say and write. Were people believe, they can say whatever they want about whoever they want. Were all of the restraints have been taken away. It doesn’t have to be us because you’re either going to push people away from you or draw people to you. People are constantly hiring Joe and Dawn to give them an unfair advantage, over the competition, to help them recapture Lost Revenue to help them get clients to help them. Make money in the speaking industry, I can go on and on and on. They Hire us, they pay us good money.
And then they spew Venom. Folks. This cost you no money to become a magnificent Wordsmith. A person that your words when they come out of your mouth, you don’t want to retract them. But you literally see the shoulders of the other person lifting up because you have poured value into them. You put gas in the gas tank. Thank you so much. I hope on this Memorial Day weekend, when you get this, it will be on Thursday. And hopefully this is a value of U and we always want to be an asset in the value. We want to lift you up.
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